King's Sun in the Valley of the Scorpions: "Ubuntu or BUST" by Christian X

I am uni-racially human.  Don't care what the world believes in that regard.

#KULCHA.FIRST. =)

Took me a long time to separate wheat from chaff when it came to ppl's misinformation, but... DNA has set me FREE.  I refuse to split my family up along false "racial" lines.  That's ridiculous.  My mother is not white or black or brown.  My dad is not white or black or brown.  We are HUMAN first.

#Boricua.Identity in the 21st Century is ONE diamond with many facets.

Sometimes, we are bombarded with erroneous and divisive ideas which cause us to split apart and segregate.  "White" Power, "Black" Power and "Brown" Power... what do those terms actually mean?  At first, when you are young, the perception is that these "pride" statements actually mean something.  Since you might not have an idea as to WHAT your "identity" actually is in the midst of all these other cultural groups (in the U.S.), you might end up thinking: "Hey, I'm different... my family's different.  What are we?"  You notice the differences between your family and the rest of society and might even begin to question some of those differences.  I've fallen into this myself and got out of it myself (along with some help from my friends), so what I am saying DOES come from my own XP.

An interesting situation occurred when I first went to undergrad in the early 90's.  I was interested in joining a Kemetic fraternity as I have all ways loved Egyptology and Sumerian Studies.  I also had an avid interest in astrology which began in my teen years.  I kept getting the run-around from some of the members of the group, who would only allow other African-Americans and Caribbeans who looked "black" into their ranks.  Reality was based on SIGHT; how you SAW others politically, not so much genetically or even culturally.  Skin tone erroneously trumped all.  The reason I was not allowed to join was as I had suspected: my skin was too "white" for an "African" fraternity that walked around with proud rhetoric and "Black Power" gear.  They wore ankhs, medallions, kufis and preached not only Kemetic teachings, but Americanised "Islam" (NOI).  These particular cats believed in their so-called "Egyptian ancestry" and guarded it rigorously.  I was told flat out that I was NOT "Egyptian".  Some of the members who were associated with NOI took their "white man is the devil" rhetoric to such extremes that even "Caribbean devils", like I was told I was, could not be included, even IF my ancestry was not European.  I've never referred to myself as "Spanish" because I was not and neither did anyone in my immediate family.  We never made any announcements as to what our race "was".  We were just "Boricua".   These fraternity brothers made it a point to single out my so-called "race" in order to let me know that I was not like them.  One explained that: "this is not a 'club', it is a brotherhood" and, since I was not a "brother" to them, it ended there.  This whole ordeal was quite possibly a blessing as this type of organisation would NOT have had a positive effect on me.  Years later, I discovered that the "Egyptians", the "Nubians" and the "Oromo" ARE my ancestors.  Genetics laid out for me what I had somewhat known all along.  I had EVERY right to my history.  But, because I was clueless, I believed in those who SEEMED like they knew what they were talking about.  Their rhetoric was flowery and backed up by larger organisations of ppl who believed the same stuff they did.  Had I known my genetics then, perhaps that situation would have had a different outcome.

Piri Thomas once wrote a story about two blood brothers who were in a U.S. jail .  Both were queued in  the jail's cafeteria; one looked "white" and the other looked "black".  Since this was before the Civil Rights Era, one brother was bluntly told by an officer that he was in a "whites only" line and had to leave his brother's side to stand on the "coloured only" line.  This confused the brothers (both of whom were Puerto Rican) as they were not fully familiar with the odious racism which often occurs on the U.S. mainland particularly towards persons of African, Indigenous and Asian descent.

Not much seems to have changed today as we still segregate ourselves.   Many demagogues/filmmakers/documentarians seek out those in the Caribbean who align themselves with their "race" agenda.  They seek out the information they all ready BELIEVE to be the truth and sort of gloss over the rest.  The stories are often "half-told", but stories the general public consumes and buys as "truth".

Same thing goes for "Brown" power.  If you can't see what goes on in L.A. because of the clash between those who oppose undocumented Mexican-AMERICANS and other citizens of the U.S., I don't know what to tell you.  Mexican-Americans and African-Americans are going at each other over crumbs.  Anti-Mexican-AMERICAN and Anti-African-AMERICAN hatred threatens to poison relations between the two groups.  It's sad... and, they are killing each other because of perceived differences, which are NOT "racial", but essentially "cultural".  At the end of the day, some folks need to realise that "America"=TWO CONTINENTS, not one country.  And, on these TWO continents are many different cultures of ppl.  What I have come to understand these days is that there is no "black" race, no "latino" race, no "white" race, etc.  There IS racism, but only over perceptions of cultural differences.  It is one HUMAN continuum that has been historically mishandled and mislabelled.  The perception of differences as being "alien" and even "unequal" , along with TOO MUCH ethnic pride, has created a toxic environment and many do not seem to ever want to address the elements which have created it.  Perhaps some are calling attention to ending it.  It may also be that no one in the mainstream listens or cares.  Nationalistic views don't have to be filtered through emotionalism and outright hatred.  We can settle these types of things "out of court".

As one ages, a lot of that stuff becomes nonsensical... unless you are the type to dig your heels in the ground while refusing to evolve.  Some demagogues still go around spewing their HATE, indirectly commanding their followings who sort of tell you that because THEY cannot cope with overall UNITY, you must not be able to EITHER.  They try to coerce you into "groupthink".  They get mad at you when you refuse to go along with their stupidity.  They want you to wallow in their personal madness along with them.  Too much pride ends up in a bloated sense of ethnic superiority and that may be where a lot of the issues begin.  Personally, I've been through this whole thing all ready.  None of it feels right.  Some ppl think that "groupthink" supersedes one's own GODHEAD doing the thinking.  I don't believe it applies to everything.  If a group is killing another group for absolutely NO reason, would it be right to say NOTHING and let it continue?  Or, would it be wise to speak your individual mind on the matter and let your unique opinion be known?

If there were such a thing as BORICUA POWER, it would probably mean: "we accept ALL" because genetically, we ARE all.  Doesn't mean there aren't a few stray cats who upset the balance, it just means that we really should come to terms with our miscegenated identity if we haven't all ready.  If anyone tries to sway you with their HATE of someone else, let them believe in their divisions.  It obviously suits them at that moment.  Just BELIEVE IN YOUR UNITY and never let that go.  It's why our heritage is the way that it is.  Also, don't be afraid to say you fucked up by thinking that way.  We all have the right to come back to the middle.  I had some thoughts I had to work through myself, and I did.

King's Sun in the Valley of the Scorpions: "Loyalty" by Christian X

For Padrino,

who taught me about the Darkness of Osa.

Artist: Unknown

Iboru, Iboya, Ibosise.

(excerpt)

My last Ifá godfather in the Orisha tradition was an older Afro-Cuban man from Matanzas Province.  Our spiritual relationship lasted from about the mid-1990's until July of 2005.  He was the last priest of Ifá whom I had felt extreme loyalty towards.

Even though we clicked upon first meeting, I still chose to keep a lot to myself.  Experience with an abusive childhood in Catholic school taught me to be leery in dealing with any sort of "religious" types.  I considered myself to be deeply intuitive.  But, when it came to spiritual matters, I just didn't want to feel like I was being trapped by someone's over-the-top religiosity.  Even if all religions tend to have a communal aspect to them, the actual conversion is quite personal.  Leave me that open door.  I will decide, based upon my own spirituality, what I should do with my own Life.

In those days, I made good money.  I pretty much knew that, in the Orisha community, sometimes having disposable cash translated into being told you had to receive a whole bunch of spiritual stuff you didn't necessarily need.   Nevertheless, I took it upon myself to believe in his sincerity.  I did not find him to be a cheat.   I was all ready a student of Ifá for many years.  As such, I pretty much understood a lot of what he was doing ritual-wise.  It was clear to see when you knew what to look for.

The only issue I had with him was his insistence that I "never let a f*ggot touch (my) head" (Be initiated into Orisha by a gay person). His obsession with hating gay ppl eventually reached nauseating levels.  I never brought up my sexuality as I didn't think I had to do that.   If we were not sleeping together, what did it matter?  I was only looking to learn the "ropes" of my religious path a little better; that was it.  I was open to everyone else, but kept my private life off his radar.  It all most became a favourite pasttime to keep my godfather guessing.  I did it to see if it would "come up" in a reading; a way to test his intuitive accuracy as a Diviner.  For many years, he never brought it up; at one point he tried to marry me to his step-daughter who was around 15 years old.  Of course, I declined.  It was only years later when I had a relationship with a man that he probably caught on that I might be bisexual.

Some Orisha priests, who I had met off the Internet, attempted to dissuade me from joining a group of homophobic Ifá priests.  I kept trying to tell them that in the "hood" a lot of things go on.  I've seen too much to think that some over-the-top"thuggish"-acting men weren't hiding secrets of their own.  I was neither phased, nor bothered.  At first, it seemed to me that they were trying to spare me any bad feelings, but- upon further reflection- I realised that I was being coerced to stay away from them as these Orisha priests just didn't like dealing with what they considered to be anti-gay, misogynist Babalawos.  My intention was to learn Ifá.  I had all ways felt this was my path and I was not going to be deterred by any priest's personal issues, Babalawo or otherwise.

Up until this point, Esu-Elegba and Ogun were the Orisha that were said to be my guardian spirits. Since this stage of my life was characterised by a lot of new experiences and lots of employment, these two Orisha made perfect sense.  Esu-Elegba was the Mercurial deity, considered a "door-opener", and Ogun represented "work".

This particular Ifá godfather took to me well and respected me for my decorum. He would share quite a great deal of what he knew.   He NEVER talked down to me or made me feel as if I knew less than he did. Regarding ritual, he made it a point to never make it about himself.  He was humble in that way.   Whenever he brought up gay ppl, though, I felt compelled to defend.  He hated that I would stand up to him about that issue, yet it never stopped him from interacting with me.  Since he knew the girl I was dating at that time, my sexuality was not an issue.

Babalawos in the Lukumi tradition do not "crown" (initiate) anyone into anything except Ifá.  When my Lukumi godfather marked my head as a child of the Orisha Shango, this meant that I would have to find a regular non-Ifá Orisha priest to actually initiate me.  My quest led me through a lot of very interesting places.  Each time I found a group of ppl that I thought could initiate me, I would stay- at least for a while.  If it seemed too negative, I would eventually leave.  I had to feel that I was going to be in the company of ppl who did not sit around spending their time hating on others unnecessarily; talking extremely negative about them behind their back.  Whatever you had to say to someone, say it to their face as well.  Many Egbes seemed to be rife with gossip, something I just didn't really care to hear.  While I figured I could "change" my godfather's thinking if I hung around him enough, I did not want to walk into any new situations that would oppress me further.  I knew my godfather well, or so I thought.  And, because my comfort levels felt normal around him, I chose to stay under his guidance.  Everyone else... would be put on a "trial run" until I felt fully comfortable.

So close were we that when my newly-chosen Egbe ("House")  told him he could only visit and not participate in his own godson's Orisha ritual, he denounced them.  This new Egbe did not use Babalawos, but Oriates.  Babalawos use a different set of mechanics to arrive at the Sacred Odu (shell patterns) than do Oriates.  In a Babalawo's Egbe, my godfather would have led the ceremony.  In this non-Babalawo Egbe, he would only be there as an invitee.  He was very insulted and very upset.  I was also... as a certain person in this Egbe actually DID use a Babalawo once at their own discretion.  When I inquired as to "why" this was, I was simply told that the person was not supposed to do that and that the defiant person was supposedly "reprimanded" for their infraction.  Even though I could not accept this responce, I let it ride.  Part of me felt that some ppl just did not take well to letting someone who was just "coming in" tell them what had to be done.

I don't mind Elders who guide younger initiates. That's how it is supposed to work. But, when the initiates all ready have a lot of wisdom accrued from having been in this tradition their entire lives, and are made to feel "stupid" just so that an "Elder" can get an upper hand, it comes off as insulting and begins a strange pattern of having the respect being siphoned out of you while the other person grows in their confidence.

I was told long ago that the benefit of all ready having some wisdom meant a more unique and deeper experience (which it definitely was), but some Orisha ppl seemed stuck on having ritually-blind godchildren who entered into ceremony submissive and malleable.  They wanted to be looked upon as the ultimate Orisha priest; more knowledgeable and wise than any of their godchildren.  I don't believe in that, nor will I ever.  Enter with as much knowledge, wisdom and understanding as possible.  You will STILL have a beautiful ceremony.

Initially, when I had first decided to learn Ifá, I approached  a Nigerian man who used Ifá to call down Ogun.  This priest gave me all the respect a man would normally give to another man when sharing these brotherly secrets.  He did not take the insecure position that he was somehow better than me.  In fact, he encouraged that I learn on my own; going to him if I had any questions or when I was ready to converse. Had he not returned to Africa, I would have remained exclusively with him.   I had no real interest in being initiated to anything except Ifá.

My Lukumi godfather acted respectfully also, save for this deep-seated hatred he had towards homosexuals.  While he did all of his rituals with heart and soul engaged, he would periodically launch tirades against anything that seemed remotely gay.  I would counter his thinking by presenting situations that left him pondering the flaws in his thoughts.

I found it interesting that in my own Orisha itá (Divination) I was told to be mindful of Elders who did not look out for my own best interest.   It mimicked an itá I had received back in 2000: "Not everyone will have your best interest at heart. Question what you feel deeply. Do not be afraid to go your own way".  In this new itá (which was a personal reading about my Life) I was told that "a King would die when the Prince was born", to paraphrase Odu.

The last conversation I had with my Lukumi godfather occurred not even a week after I was initiated.  I recited the basics from my itá to him and he explained much about who I was spiritually; for that I was grateful.  Soon after, my godson took a trip to his home to receive a Divination reading.  I was slightly disturbed that he told my godson the same thing he told me: "Don't let a f*ggot touch your head".  He knew who my godson was and that I would one day initiate him.  My godson felt he was trying to slander me; just defile my name.  Regarding their long conversation, it became quite clear that my own godparent was betraying me after so many years of loyalty.  I got really depressed.  After my godson left his house, the next day... my godfather was gunned down in a hail of semi-automatic gunfire.  It was apparently a drug deal gone bad.  I had absolutely no idea he led this type of life... none.  I also didn't know that he was gay, but had taken a wife and kids as a way of renouncing his life.  Save for the youngest, the woman's children were not his own.  Nevertheless, his entire family fled the house never to return.

The Coroner's Office, whom I had called initially to find out details, kept ringing me to inquire about what to do with his body. No one was claiming it. I called around and tried to raise the money to bury him. Regardless of his self-loathing and drug-dealing ways, he was still a good person. I was amazed at how many Orisha priests said they could do nothing... even if they made lots of money from performing countless ceremonies in the religion. The camaraderie was just not there for him. Also- since I had just spent a lot of money on my own Orisha ceremony, I was too taxed to come up with the money to bury him myself.  As such, he lost his home and was placed in an unmarked potter's grave.

Despite his betrayal, I did see the good in him even if he may not have. He was still my Ifá godfather.  I won't forget the kind of person he was or any of the things he selflessly did for me.  When I needed spiritual advise, he was at my house in Manhattan that very same day.  My only wish was that he would had come to terms with himself and led a more open life... away from all the drugs and mayhem.

copyright 2011 SC Productions

King's Sun in the Valley of the Scorpions: "Elephant Box" by Christian X

Commentary on:

The Mysteries of the 8th House: House of Death & Transformation
by Carmen Turner-Schott

 <<The first thing that comes to mind when we think of the eighth house is the word, Energy. The subtle energies that surround our physical bodies known as chi, prana, and life force, and how this energy can be used to heal others. When we have planets in the eighth house, we are very sensitive to these energies. Individuals with planets placed here will be extremely sensitive to energy and will be able to “feel” other people’s pain, emotions, and energy field. Unfortunately, many times this is very painful for the individual.>>

Every time I would read someone online talking about compassion, I felt like they were saying that we have to continue striving to be more and more and more compassionate.  I would take it onto myself as if I was not compassionate enough.  I kept on and on trying to figure out what I could do to be more compassionate.  I never stopped to think that maybe I was all ready this way.

When the revolutions in North Africa began to take place, it was the beginning of January.  I felt riveted to the computer, feeling a "need" to help those ppl.  I could not think of even enjoying a single day as I saw ppl dying left and right for their right to be free.  I needed to do my research from where I was and help pass along information during the chaos.  Oddly enough, it was my experiences playing video games that gave me the ability to act quickly during a crisis.  I helped them even though it felt like I was somehow endangering myself.  As far as I was concerned, those ppl were the ones in total danger.  There was no way I could turn away.

I felt this way in Cuba, but fell mute as I did not think myself stronger than that government.  I did, however, feel connected to their humanity.  Cuba was, and is, an entirely different situation all together.  The approach to gaining more democracy was just not the same to me.

Energy.  That's exactly what my life is.  I feel other ppl's energy.  If it feels positive, I feel upbeat.  When it is negative, it drags me down.  I feel ppl very deeply.  Even sex feels like it has to be extreme, otherwise it isn't "sex" to me.  Even if there is a lot of romance to the relationship, the consummation has to go all the way or it is just not considered "consummating" to me.  I feel others so profoundly that I often thought it was problematic.  Like, really.  Who feels this stuff so deeply?  It must definitely be a problem.  I could never explain to others just how draining this was.

Ever since I was a teenager and created a Christian youth group in my local church, the goal was pretty much to help others; sacrifice myself for someone else.  This was the whole "Jesus" idea that my mom instilled in me.  I remember vividly how she once made a sacrifice to walk all the way to church barefoot during Holy Week.  Years later, in order to help a friend of mine NOT have an abortion at 19, I convinced her boyfriend to cross the Brooklyn Bridge on our hands and knees.  His sister walked along side us to make sure we completed this "sacrificial" journey.  My friend kept the kid who is now in her 20's.  The name she gave her was "Luz" ("Light"); given the circumstances surrounding her birth which was comparable to the whole "Jesus" myth.  Today, I realise that this was totally a Pygmalion effect which was set in motion by "sacrifice".  The mother who at the time of this "sacrifice" was attending a Christian retreat received two pair of pants with holes in the knees and blood staining the legs; all wrapped up in two beautiful boxes with bows.  She understood through this action how much her boyfriend loved her and kept the child.

When I dealt with other "religious" adults (like the nuns and priests growing up), their energy was often forcing me to "do this" or cornering me into "doing that".  I hated being forced.  I tried to explain this to some ppl in my Orisha Egbe, but some did not seem to get it.  Their energy was overpowering me and drowning me out.  I felt washed away... like nothing.  I still love them.  When it comes to some of them, I just don't know how to deal.  If I try to explain myself, I am not all ways "heard".  So, I just leave them alone and, respectfully, walk away.

<<If individuals are not aware of this ability, then they might do two possible things. First, they might choose to ignore their insights and become increasingly lonelier. Second, they might take all these threats as personal and believe that others do not like them. They might withdraw from others and put up an invisible wall to keep them safe.>>

In order to have my thoughts, I place a barrier between me and the world.  It's the only way I thought I could survive ppl's punishment and ridicule.  Sometimes, I would punish the punisher by feeding them their own energy; because "energy" is what I have often felt it was all about.  Like a sea anemone that recoils from touch, I pull away into myself and excuse my humanity.  No one would understand me anyway.

<<You can imagine how painful it would be to feel other's suffering. Individuals can see through other people’s motives, thoughts, and actions. What others show them on the outside is insignificant, because we will zone into their true energy, thoughts and emotions. When these don’t match up, we know it and feel it in a deep way. >>

I see through a lot of ruses.  Most of this has to do with all the intense and secretive experiences I have had with others.  Whether sexual or not, I have seen so much in various consummative forms that when I see "signs", I can actually read them instantly.

This could also be why I sometimes cannot let something go.  I have to straighten it out by going after it; address it no matter how uncomfortable it may be.  I have no fear... or, I have learned to become fearless.  These days, I am learning that not every battle has to be fought.  Some things, however, DO linger and irritate to such a point that only speaking on them could actually release the "energy" which would, once again, bring me a feeling of peace.

<<When individuals first experience this energy, they may doubt themselves or second guess their perceptions. Eventually they must  learn to trust their intuition. I want to discuss a client that has several eighth house planets and one experience that she shared with me. She is a social worker, and as part of her job has to perform home visits. One time in particular, she made a home visit for the first time to a new family. The client was a 15-year-old girl who was adopted when she was five years old. She lived with her mother and her mother’s boyfriend at the time. When she arrived, things seemed normal, until the boyfriend got home. She was doing the first interview with the daughter and the mother at the kitchen table. When the boyfriend walked into the room, she instantly thought and felt, “This man has made sexual advances toward the 15-year-old.” She shoved the thought out of her head because she did not know where it came from, and knew she did not know the family well enough to suspect something like that. She left the home, and after several weeks, received a call from another helping professional. This helping professional called her to voice her concern about the 15-year-old, who had accused the boyfriend of making sexual advances toward her a year prior. The social worker had no idea of this factual information at the time of the first interview, when she “felt” what was truly going on in this family.>>

What stuck out here was: <<She was doing the first interview with the daughter and the mother at the kitchen table. When the boyfriend walked into the room, she instantly thought and felt, “This man has made sexual advances toward the 15-year-old.” She shoved the thought out of her head because she did not know where it came from, and knew she did not know the family well enough to suspect something like that.>>

This ability to gather information immediately made me a very reclusive person.  I felt that if I was capable of doing this, so could someone else.  It is what prevents me from opening up.  At the same time, I have to release these feelings.  Otherwise, they would just simmer and get all pent up inside of me.  I figured that if I expressed them and then deleted them, the now-opened valve would release the pressure allowing the issue to be resolved somewhat.

One night, after working very late in my office, I went to take a nap.  When I woke up later to work some more, I went to turn on the computer.  The first thing I saw was a news report re: a popular artist's family.  The family had been murdered and her nephew had went missing.  I was horrified and felt immense compassion for that individual.  However, I was so exhausted that night that I could not even stay up.  I went to bed and took these thoughts with me.  In a dream, I noticed some men pushing a young boy into a suburban vehicle.  They were hurting him.  The environment looked like the edge of a city or town.  The building next to it resembled a parking garage.  There were other cars around.  I saw them murder the child.  His violent unfortunate screams woke me up.  I knew immediately who it was and thought that if I said anything, no matter how horrible it was, I would be written off as crazy.  I stayed silent and watched the entire thing play out in the news.  I gave my condolences and spoke from the pain that I was feeling, but stopped there.

What I realised later on was that: when I take in a lot of information, my dream state... or my subconsciousness...  would put together these images with whatever other "feelings" I had been picking up.  I guess it was sort of a clairvoyance.  My mom used to have these really vivid dreams as well.  Every morning she'd tell me and my dad about what she dreamed over a cup of coffee and some toast, or whatever.  According to her, she had been born with a "veil" over her face and, subsequently explained, that I also was born that way.  A person with a "veil" over their face was, purportedly, a person who could drift off into their subconsciousness and vividly recall whatever it was they would see.  They were lucid dreamers; consistent lucid dreamers.  These types of dreams are rare for most, but seemed so common to me and my mom that I wondered why some thought me crazy when I would express these things to them.

In 2002, I had a dream that a spaceship took off vertically, but eventually turned horizontal.  I remember the ship passing right in front of my eyes, quickly noticing the U.S. flag.  It burst into flames and was destroyed.  Then, the dream "cut" to Prospect Park in Brooklyn (New York).  A rocket cut a blazing path of fire through the park.  I remember standing in the path which had been cut open by the rocket's path and stared up at the enormous trees which had been set on fire.  They were blackened and singed.  I remember hearing voices of people running around.  One voice came through clearly: "Are you OK?"  I saw ppl scurrying around the streets into the underground subway.  They were escaping the fire which was consuming everything.  My grandmother was standing on a square board at the entrance of a train tunnel and pointed into it.  This was the only place that seemed safe.  My attention was directed into outer space where I saw a rock moving through my field of vision.  I asked: "But, why?" .  "Because Obatala said so" was the responce.  I ran into the dining room and told my Uncle that Brooklyn had been destroyed.  The dream did not entirely come true and, if it was symbolic or real, I will never know.  Such are dreams.  But, months later the Space Shuttle Columbia crashed on re-entry.  It was the same ship I had seen while in my sleep state.  It launched vertically, yet came back (somewhat) horizontally.

I have all ways been tormented by dreams that felt realer than life.  In my itá (Divination reading) for Oshun, I was told not to reveal my dreams as ppl would just not understand.  There is a part of me that feels the need to reveal, but there is another part of me that feels: "maybe, I am revealing too much".

<<One night she was lying in bed and felt this intense energy surrounding her. Her entire body began to shake and she felt this energy run up her chakras. The next thing she felt was total sadness. She told me that the only way to describe it was that it was like something “died inside her.” After that moment, her life has never been the same. This is the eighth house in action.>>

I often thought that other ppl go through this, but it seems that whenever I try to engage someone about this they're like: "Oh, just let it go".  They have no idea how I just cannot.  It is a part of me.  I feel like some sort of psychic lightning rod.  I feel intuition stronger than a woman might.  I have spoken to a lot of females, thinking they'd get me, but I get the same "let it go" line from them as well.  My godson is the only one whom I can speak with who totally sees where I am at.  Our personalities complement each other perfectly.  With him, I can totally spill my guts out.  He is an Aquarian Sun (opposite my Sun) with Cancer/Gemini on the Ascendant (opposite my own Sadge/Capricorn Ascendant).  His Moon, however, is in Scorpio.  I guess the reflective nature of the Scorpio moon has the ability to wade in the deep psychological waters along with me.

In my Orisha ceremony, back in 2005, I was told that I am all "egun"- a word that represents "ancestors".  It is another way of describing the subtle energies which surround us.  While I don't drink alcohol or take any drugs, I do sometimes smoke marijuana.  This is when the subtleties stand out even more.  For this reason, I have learned to smoke it in private or around close friends whose energies are not "all over the place".

Whenever I have contact with ppl, I tend to dream about them... depending on what my body-mind sheath decides to do.  I cannot control it.  Sometimes it happens, I suppose, if it is strong enough to give a meaning.  Sometimes, it does not.  If there is some sort of message to be revealed, it will just simply be... revealed.

<<True healers, body workers, counselors and psychics usually have planets in the eighth house. The most powerful healers often have Pluto there. Several body workers, Reiki masters, and pranic healers also have this placement. The most important thing to remember is that the eighth house does not lie. It calls out of the woodwork all truths, emotions, feelings and thoughts. Those with eyes to see will see. Just remember to experience this as oneness with others, not separateness. In the end, this will only increase your abilities and understanding of your purpose here on earth. The eighth house is nothing to be afraid of, because it is a blessing in disguise. Individuals with planets here are truly our world’s future healers.>>

I have the Sun in Leo in the 8th House.  Not Pluto.  The Sun is exalted in Leo as this planetary body "rules" this sign.  This means that the energy is strong enough to stave off death.  I do feel like I am blessed.  I didn't realise it so much before, but as time went on, I got the picture.  I escaped the 7.1 earthquake in California when I lived there in 1989 and the WTC tragedy in 2001.  The Sun lights up the "darkness" and provides illumination into my subconscious mind... beyond my ego.  I have often felt like I'd make a pretty good psycho-analyst as all my thoughts tend to serve as a beacon into understanding my own humanity, which- in turn- could help others as well.  I am not afraid of my light.  I am just, sometimes, tired of being around the depleting "darkness" of others.

Living in the "hood", I have seen so many ugly scenarios that nothing impresses me anymore.  I have seen ppl laying dead in the street, witness myself falling into the drug scene of the 1980's, and ran with criminals like some ghetto Prince Hal (not the immature part, just the hanging with thieves part)... even if I have never, personally, committed any crimes.  My close proximity to the various ppl in the "hood" has given me constant access to all this madness.  And, even still, I emerged unscathed and continue to walk with Light.

The best way to describe this planetary configuration is: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."  The "you" is the "Sun"/"Son" of a King ("Leo").  This is what my life has felt like.  I walk through the hate and spread love.  A lot ppl may not see it, but maybe it's that they cannot take standing in their own Light.  As my itá once said: "it is often those around you who make you feel as if you are no one, when it is themselves that cannot stand up to be some one".

"Phoenix" by Whiteraven90

SPOKEN WORD: "Teflon Rose" (2010)

"Teflon Rose"

by Ti'kal Storm Rydah

expressive child
sometimes wild
erstwhile mild

multi-coloured rose
refractions of an obscene world

its arms attempt
to open wide
in the light of a world
full of fake people's snide

create in it persistence
nurture slime resistance

so that it can learn to finally Be
immune to a world full of anti-"free"

.oO~Oo.

from the seed of a steed
bursting forth in two-spirit decree
Obara'she is the lamp
with the Sagittarius "see"

though the rose stems out from concrete
doesn't mean that from light it's deplete
from o'er the tops of the projects
love arrives godspeed and complete

the radiation is hopeful
as it overpowers the dim morning star
which might have overlooked the ghetto
with its brilliance as far away as Mars

a lucky glimmer reaches some car
to then bounce off broken mason jar
finally reaching each closing arm
shining rays of hope
begin protecting rose from harm

.oO~Oo.

with pulsing warmness, once again
sky embraces ground
love reaches inside deeply
and unites with it profound

the rose in concrete

although
sewer-fed
remains
superconscious-led

and sees itself

as still a rose

not a treaded victim
of a defeated thought
just as some random leaf gets caught
in the inexorableness
of autumnal onslaught

lost in the throes
of transformation
expected death transfiguration
in a back-to-earth type of machination

it instead, celebrates

in all its chlorophyll'd glory
following the lines of an upbeat story

higher
transpire
away from people's
conjur'd up vampirez

sent to cower in the corners of your room
whispering to your godhead
the meaning of gloom
and its evil twin doom

click on the switch
call that bloodsucker a bytch
undead thoughts
have no place in your life
causing any unnecessary stryfe

look forwards
towards the sun
no need to live your life
under another person's gun

force all the shadows
to lag far behind
and blow away those cobwebs
from the inner recesses of your mind

let them extend themselves in length
and do not allow them any space
they will diminish in their strength
as brimming light washes every trace

move away from thoughts of death
without any residue of fear
let the warm-filled light
dry off every streaming tear

as your arms now widen and open
back into their natural fullness

remain grateful to Universal Mother
for protection and for cover
drawn up to the sun
like salvation by your eternal lover



copyright 2010

Essay: “Bakhtin’s ‘Architectonics’ and “Identity” by Hiáli Quiñonez (2010)

In Bahktinian thought, “identity” is looked upon as being tripartite composed of the "centre", the "not-centre", and the relationship that would naturally occur in the overlap between that "centre" and "not-centre". Mikhail Bakhtin’s ”architectonic” approach grouped specific structural elements into an “identity” argument and explained how the process responsible for designing and constructing spaces which delineate what one might call “identity” emerged from the elemental interactive process that took place. In order for the idea to be fully explained, Bakhtin noted that what demarcated "centre" and "not-centre" must first have to exist together in tandem. If we begin at this rationalisation, we can further understand the mechanisms that define who we are as individuals and what each one of us means in relation to the larger whole. We will be able to understand what societal forces are acting upon us and how we project ourselves to others.

The "centre" and "not-centre" endlessly support and feed each other in both a centripetal direction (moving in towards the centre) and a centrifugal one (moving out from the centre). The "centre" is described as any living source’s complexity of centrifugal energies that, for its own gratification, emanates inexorably outwards towards its outer world. The "not-centre", then, is composed of all the things outside that living source’s Existence. It would include people, places and things that aren‘t necessarily connected physically, but still intimately motivate the living source due to their relative proximity to that living source’s "centre". The "not-centre" influences the "centre" with its constant stream of external influence. Likewise, the "centre" contains its own thoughts and gestures of expression. Thoughts enter the individual imagination from outside that person and register according to how that person processes information. Ideas might set off a stream of consciousness or, perhaps, it might complement already-existing ideas in that person’s imagination to later be projected back at the “not-centre” so that it might experience a better understanding of itself. Like a two-way reflection, the individual reflects at society what society reflects at the individual.

Even though the “centre” is constantly emoting its own ideas, it is ultimately dominated by the “not-centre”. In the case of an entire country, the citizen would be the individual “centre” and the “not-centre“ might be the much larger government. In the case of a corporation, the worker becomes the “centre“ to the corporation. Being much larger than the individual, this corporation then becomes the “not-centre“ of this worker‘s life. The interaction between two opposing perspectives becomes the essential crux of that "identity" concept which Bakhtin sought to define. It is a relationship carved by the constant flow of social flux. Individuals are defined by the impositions placed upon their "centre" by a socially-circumventing "non-centre". One major way this is done is via the media and the Internet. Once images, impressions, and all accompanying intonations cross the boundary between one individual’s consciousness and another’s, “identity” becomes registered in that interaction of opposing forces. As to which force dominates depends, naturally, on the nature of those involved. Bakhtin’s architectonic model of the human psyche could further be read as a collection of three inter-related concepts: "I-for-myself", "I-for-the-other" and "Other-for-me". 

The “I-for-myself” aspect represents an assemblage of chaotic thinking processes that we, as humans, undergo every moment of our lives in the privacy of our own thoughts, awake or asleep. Heteroglossia, which translates as "many diverse voices speaking", is the term used to describe this collection of processes. It is one's constant interior monologue. Things included in this definition can be: slang, a coded vocabulary, some technical skill, specific words related to some particular hobby, “flying thoughts” which can be attributed to the fragmented speech we use to talk to ourselves when alone, body language and even expressive facial gestures. If one theorises that people might be born into the world in a simple state of tabula rasa ("blank slate") and believes that individual minds are created with only the basics programmed into them (such as eating, sleeping, etc.), it then becomes easy to understand how outside influences recorded by the individual psyche can become the groundwork for that individual's own personal heteroglossia. The individual’s mind “picks up” or “learns” all types of educational ideas across its lifespan that will serve to instruct that individual on what to do, or not do, in order to live harmoniously with the world at large. Whether the laws are natural or man-made is besides the point. All ideas not rooted in one’s essential nature are pretty much learned from external experiences, more specifically from the area of interaction between an individual and the collective to which it belongs. This collection, again, can be any type of ruling body on any level. It could be any association larger than one’s self which bears down on that individual and demands some form of allegiance and respect from that person for a sense of inclusion.

“I-for-the-other”, or “To-the-other-FROM-me”, is a projection of heteroglossia onto the outside world. It is the “centre” pushing out towards the “not-centre”. This aspect could be thought of, perhaps, as the individual’s unique reflection of the world outside of him/her self processed through their own personal mindset. Whatever qualities were instilled are now filtered through the individual and projected out into the world.

“Other-for-me”, or “To-me-FROM-the-other”, denotes the way in which others incorporate an individual’s perceptions about them into their own identities. It is the “not-centre” pushing inwards toward an individual’s “centre”. It is that particular aspect of one’s identity that is defined by as “other” which can take on many forms ie. an institution, whether government or civilian, a religious body, even a corporation. “I-for-the-other” and “Other-for-me”. As a collection of perceptions comes inwards from an outside spectator, the individual then envisions a perception and feeds it back to the “other” who would either accept or reject this motion in the process of controlling the individual’s “identity” formation. This back and forth “bargaining” sets the rules of engagement for any situation. When you apply for a job you conform to the responsibilities expected of you by that company in order to help that particular hierarchical organisation fulfill its mission. This act is, itself, an agreement to accept what will define the “identity” of that worker within the corporation. Anything that sets the relationship standard between two persons falls within this realm.

"I am conscious of myself and become myself only while revealing myself for another, through another, and with the help of another. The most important acts constituting self-consciousness are determined by a relationship toward another consciousness (toward a thou)… The very being of man (both external and internal) is the deepest communion. To be means to communicate… To be means to be for another, and through the other, for oneself. A person has no internal sovereign territory, he is wholly and always on the boundary: looking inside himself, he looks into the eyes of another or with the eyes of another… I cannot manage without another, I cannot become myself without another; I must find myself in another by finding another in myself (in mutual reflection and mutual acceptance)."

                                    ~ Mikhail Bakhtin

Riding tandem along with heteroglossia is the idea of "intertextuality".   If heteroglossia is the voices in one‘s own head, “intertextuality” is the "voice of the other" within you; the interiorised text of the "other." ie: author quotes another author in his book. In its negative aspect, feelings of guilt and shame could, intertextually, be generated by the “not-centre” to make the “centre” feel bad about itself, for whatever reason.

Bakhtin believed we were all essentially inter-connected beings; all of us, directly or indirectly, affect others by the things we say or do. In essence, Bakhtinian thought focuses on what energies are at work around us and how they affect, or are affected, by those things which surround it. If you can delineate it, you can become more efficient at dealing with it. Perhaps, in being more conscious of ourselves, we will be able to find ways to relate that do not involve having to fight all the time.

“Our identities have no bodies, so, unlike you, we cannot obtain order by physical coercion. We believe that from ethics, enlightened self-interest, and the commonwealth, our governance will emerge.” 

John Perry Barlow

copyright 2011

Book of Stormz . One: "Age ov PPL" (2011)

.oO(*)Oo. Age ov PPL .oO(*)Oo.

Book of Stormz . One  (2011)

world belongs to the future
let go of the past

dictators cannot last

age of intelligence
and peace
everyone has a voice
a choice

to say
to pray
to think for days

world belongs to the future
where there is no opressor

except what we've yet to learn

we must yearn
for the future
even as we heal
all historic sutures

non-violent persistence
wear down the resistance
of extremists
who upset the balance
of life
cause strife

age of tranquility
no more fearful insanity

let go of the past

change the now
and into future fast

copyright 2011

Book of Stormz . One: "iWitn3ss" (2009)

..o.21.o8.69.o..

.oO(*)Oo.   iWitn3ss   .oO(*)Oo.

Book of Stormz . One  (2009)

out from fire in the Farthest Land
and its ensuing rising storm
Jehovah's child of the crossroad
Eshu Salaam is born

"what colour",
asks the riddle,
is my hat?"

"I say it's red."
"I say it's black."
"Hit me first"
"I'll hit you right back"

...say the inconclusive neighbours

this constant scuffle
will not be their Saviour

.oO(*)Oo.

the pulpit returns
in the last days of the world
signs are unravelling
shifting weather patterns unfurl

birds don't know what song to sing
some retire from broken wings
this is no longer a joyous land
earthquakes rewrite the boundaries of man
to disappear
and reappear
at the sleight of a mysterious One‘s hands

.oO(*)Oo.

island chain is almost one
Earth's eventual shift from the sun
volcanos pierce smoke-laden darkness
remind us with awe of our relative smallness

our arrogance
intolerance
turned to obeisance
learn the lessons

of laws way above us
way beyond the white carpet
of cirrocumulus

treading across like some white buffalo
on a random tear
across snowy terrain
earth is moved amidst thunder and fear

.oO(*)Oo.

microcosmic Beings
will soon be seeing
the power of Greater Being
that we exist within
and within

infinite dimensions

churning and bumping
creating the akashic soup
natives may soon be praying to
a lady from Guadeloupe

for the world will shudder
and shake
no time to react
most won't remain intact

.oO(*)Oo.

having bitten the fruit
of the tree of intelligence

eyes still open shut

neither understand
nor overstand

essence of emanation

instead

block the love vybration

the core of love energy
take care to exercise it
revise it
if necessary

do not be unaware of the plan
and do lend a helping hand

it'll take concerted love from
everyone
to keep the world in shaky place
before 2 jolts make it shift in empty space

.oO(*)Oo.

millions of ways to relate
yet still choose to berate
divide
hide
the love
that should be expressed
in the last days of the world

when

entire plates sink beneath the sand
seems like there is nowhere to hide

try, try... cause you must
run, run... if you can

tsunami tsunami
pull back your mighty hand
to batter eastern Babylon

resound destructive strength
Nature exacts a revenge
heard even by the tundra swans

one third of the stars
appear to fall

cosmic chaos
heed the Mighty Call

.oO(*)Oo.

death by water and fire
an ocean will tremble
beneath Shakti's ferocity

so many hands of fate
nowhere to run
earth's changes its velocity

feel the Uniqueness of the One

Pacifica crashes into muddy abyss
ring of fire lighting up
swallowing up

like Hades
Ra returns to the Euphrates

.oO(*)Oo.

climactic stress
when magnets shift
the energy we have created
akin to a sword that is serrated
has destroyed the harmony
of Lyfe itself
butcher it like the Lamb
who told you once
now tells you twice
the so-called ‘End of Humanity’
is really just
Earth taking Nature's advise

"correct yourself"

.oO(*)Oo.

when the iron ball spins
the sun will appear to veer
crash into the earth

then pull away so high
laws we can't defy
Phaeton's on some DWI
nothing can stop spinning sky

oceans rise high

lands disappear in momentary confusion

then

we realise

it was all just an illusion

.oO(*)Oo.

a seed remains
humanity's 1 single ace

Love

borne from compassion
to each one a ration

of equality

the chance to exist
in wholeness

free from the masks
of someone else's idea of
“God”…
tee… em

give it a face

but

don't forget
that it's space

.oO(*)Oo.

as the world spins
surrounded by storm and fire
forcing us to finally think higher
learn to aspire

for the right things

in 150 revolutions
will come the solution
to the ailing planet

a woman arrives
dressed all in white
to administer to the sinister
science
warns of reliance

.oO(*)Oo.

contained within crystal
the wheel of Dharma
turns
into new consciousness

the One

the Sun

pay attention because the time may one day come
when the world might have to run

.. .oO(*)Oo.  .  .oO(*)Oo. ..



copyright 2009

(originally posted 12 Jan 2010 on 'Garden ov Shiva')

SoulChango Productions presents "Secret Life of Jolie" (2004)

SoulChango Productions presents "Caña Brava (Wild Sugar Cane)" (2003)