Commentary on:
<<The first thing that comes to mind when we think of the eighth house is the word, Energy. The subtle energies that surround our physical bodies known as chi, prana, and life force, and how this energy can be used to heal others. When we have planets in the eighth house, we are very sensitive to these energies. Individuals with planets placed here will be extremely sensitive to energy and will be able to “feel” other people’s pain, emotions, and energy field. Unfortunately, many times this is very painful for the individual.>>
Every time I would read someone online talking about compassion, I felt like they were saying that we have to continue striving to be more and more and more compassionate. I would take it onto myself as if I was not compassionate enough. I kept on and on trying to figure out what I could do to be more compassionate. I never stopped to think that maybe I was all ready this way.
When the revolutions in North Africa began to take place, it was the beginning of January. I felt riveted to the computer, feeling a "need" to help those ppl. I could not think of even enjoying a single day as I saw ppl dying left and right for their right to be free. I needed to do my research from where I was and help pass along information during the chaos. Oddly enough, it was my experiences playing video games that gave me the ability to act quickly during a crisis. I helped them even though it felt like I was somehow endangering myself. As far as I was concerned, those ppl were the ones in total danger. There was no way I could turn away.
I felt this way in Cuba, but fell mute as I did not think myself stronger than that government. I did, however, feel connected to their humanity. Cuba was, and is, an entirely different situation all together. The approach to gaining more democracy was just not the same to me.
Energy. That's exactly what my life is. I feel other ppl's energy. If it feels positive, I feel upbeat. When it is negative, it drags me down. I feel ppl very deeply. Even sex feels like it has to be extreme, otherwise it isn't "sex" to me. Even if there is a lot of romance to the relationship, the consummation has to go all the way or it is just not considered "consummating" to me. I feel others so profoundly that I often thought it was problematic. Like, really. Who feels this stuff so deeply? It must definitely be a problem. I could never explain to others just how draining this was.
Ever since I was a teenager and created a Christian youth group in my local church, the goal was pretty much to help others; sacrifice myself for someone else. This was the whole "Jesus" idea that my mom instilled in me. I remember vividly how she once made a sacrifice to walk all the way to church barefoot during Holy Week. Years later, in order to help a friend of mine NOT have an abortion at 19, I convinced her boyfriend to cross the Brooklyn Bridge on our hands and knees. His sister walked along side us to make sure we completed this "sacrificial" journey. My friend kept the kid who is now in her 20's. The name she gave her was "Luz" ("Light"); given the circumstances surrounding her birth which was comparable to the whole "Jesus" myth. Today, I realise that this was totally a Pygmalion effect which was set in motion by "sacrifice". The mother who at the time of this "sacrifice" was attending a Christian retreat received two pair of pants with holes in the knees and blood staining the legs; all wrapped up in two beautiful boxes with bows. She understood through this action how much her boyfriend loved her and kept the child.
When I dealt with other "religious" adults (like the nuns and priests growing up), their energy was often forcing me to "do this" or cornering me into "doing that". I hated being forced. I tried to explain this to some ppl in my Orisha Egbe, but some did not seem to get it. Their energy was overpowering me and drowning me out. I felt washed away... like nothing. I still love them. When it comes to some of them, I just don't know how to deal. If I try to explain myself, I am not all ways "heard". So, I just leave them alone and, respectfully, walk away.
<<If individuals are not aware of this ability, then they might do two possible things. First, they might choose to ignore their insights and become increasingly lonelier. Second, they might take all these threats as personal and believe that others do not like them. They might withdraw from others and put up an invisible wall to keep them safe.>>
In order to have my thoughts, I place a barrier between me and the world. It's the only way I thought I could survive ppl's punishment and ridicule. Sometimes, I would punish the punisher by feeding them their own energy; because "energy" is what I have often felt it was all about. Like a sea anemone that recoils from touch, I pull away into myself and excuse my humanity. No one would understand me anyway.
<<You can imagine how painful it would be to feel other's suffering. Individuals can see through other people’s motives, thoughts, and actions. What others show them on the outside is insignificant, because we will zone into their true energy, thoughts and emotions. When these don’t match up, we know it and feel it in a deep way. >>
I see through a lot of ruses. Most of this has to do with all the intense and secretive experiences I have had with others. Whether sexual or not, I have seen so much in various consummative forms that when I see "signs", I can actually read them instantly.
This could also be why I sometimes cannot let something go. I have to straighten it out by going after it; address it no matter how uncomfortable it may be. I have no fear... or, I have learned to become fearless. These days, I am learning that not every battle has to be fought. Some things, however, DO linger and irritate to such a point that only speaking on them could actually release the "energy" which would, once again, bring me a feeling of peace.
<<When individuals first experience this energy, they may doubt themselves or second guess their perceptions. Eventually they must learn to trust their intuition. I want to discuss a client that has several eighth house planets and one experience that she shared with me. She is a social worker, and as part of her job has to perform home visits. One time in particular, she made a home visit for the first time to a new family. The client was a 15-year-old girl who was adopted when she was five years old. She lived with her mother and her mother’s boyfriend at the time. When she arrived, things seemed normal, until the boyfriend got home. She was doing the first interview with the daughter and the mother at the kitchen table. When the boyfriend walked into the room, she instantly thought and felt, “This man has made sexual advances toward the 15-year-old.” She shoved the thought out of her head because she did not know where it came from, and knew she did not know the family well enough to suspect something like that. She left the home, and after several weeks, received a call from another helping professional. This helping professional called her to voice her concern about the 15-year-old, who had accused the boyfriend of making sexual advances toward her a year prior. The social worker had no idea of this factual information at the time of the first interview, when she “felt” what was truly going on in this family.>>
What stuck out here was: <<She was doing the first interview with the daughter and the mother at the kitchen table. When the boyfriend walked into the room, she instantly thought and felt, “This man has made sexual advances toward the 15-year-old.” She shoved the thought out of her head because she did not know where it came from, and knew she did not know the family well enough to suspect something like that.>>
This ability to gather information immediately made me a very reclusive person. I felt that if I was capable of doing this, so could someone else. It is what prevents me from opening up. At the same time, I have to release these feelings. Otherwise, they would just simmer and get all pent up inside of me. I figured that if I expressed them and then deleted them, the now-opened valve would release the pressure allowing the issue to be resolved somewhat.
One night, after working very late in my office, I went to take a nap. When I woke up later to work some more, I went to turn on the computer. The first thing I saw was a news report re: a popular artist's family. The family had been murdered and her nephew had went missing. I was horrified and felt immense compassion for that individual. However, I was so exhausted that night that I could not even stay up. I went to bed and took these thoughts with me. In a dream, I noticed some men pushing a young boy into a suburban vehicle. They were hurting him. The environment looked like the edge of a city or town. The building next to it resembled a parking garage. There were other cars around. I saw them murder the child. His violent unfortunate screams woke me up. I knew immediately who it was and thought that if I said anything, no matter how horrible it was, I would be written off as crazy. I stayed silent and watched the entire thing play out in the news. I gave my condolences and spoke from the pain that I was feeling, but stopped there.
What I realised later on was that: when I take in a lot of information, my dream state... or my subconsciousness... would put together these images with whatever other "feelings" I had been picking up. I guess it was sort of a clairvoyance. My mom used to have these really vivid dreams as well. Every morning she'd tell me and my dad about what she dreamed over a cup of coffee and some toast, or whatever. According to her, she had been born with a "veil" over her face and, subsequently explained, that I also was born that way. A person with a "veil" over their face was, purportedly, a person who could drift off into their subconsciousness and vividly recall whatever it was they would see. They were lucid dreamers; consistent lucid dreamers. These types of dreams are rare for most, but seemed so common to me and my mom that I wondered why some thought me crazy when I would express these things to them.
In 2002, I had a dream that a spaceship took off vertically, but eventually turned horizontal. I remember the ship passing right in front of my eyes, quickly noticing the U.S. flag. It burst into flames and was destroyed. Then, the dream "cut" to Prospect Park in Brooklyn (New York). A rocket cut a blazing path of fire through the park. I remember standing in the path which had been cut open by the rocket's path and stared up at the enormous trees which had been set on fire. They were blackened and singed. I remember hearing voices of people running around. One voice came through clearly: "Are you OK?" I saw ppl scurrying around the streets into the underground subway. They were escaping the fire which was consuming everything. My grandmother was standing on a square board at the entrance of a train tunnel and pointed into it. This was the only place that seemed safe. My attention was directed into outer space where I saw a rock moving through my field of vision. I asked: "But, why?" . "Because Obatala said so" was the responce. I ran into the dining room and told my Uncle that Brooklyn had been destroyed. The dream did not entirely come true and, if it was symbolic or real, I will never know. Such are dreams. But, months later the Space Shuttle Columbia crashed on re-entry. It was the same ship I had seen while in my sleep state. It launched vertically, yet came back (somewhat) horizontally.
I have all ways been tormented by dreams that felt realer than life. In my itá (Divination reading) for Oshun, I was told not to reveal my dreams as ppl would just not understand. There is a part of me that feels the need to reveal, but there is another part of me that feels: "maybe, I am revealing too much".
<<One night she was lying in bed and felt this intense energy surrounding her. Her entire body began to shake and she felt this energy run up her chakras. The next thing she felt was total sadness. She told me that the only way to describe it was that it was like something “died inside her.” After that moment, her life has never been the same. This is the eighth house in action.>>
I often thought that other ppl go through this, but it seems that whenever I try to engage someone about this they're like: "Oh, just let it go". They have no idea how I just cannot. It is a part of me. I feel like some sort of psychic lightning rod. I feel intuition stronger than a woman might. I have spoken to a lot of females, thinking they'd get me, but I get the same "let it go" line from them as well. My godson is the only one whom I can speak with who totally sees where I am at. Our personalities complement each other perfectly. With him, I can totally spill my guts out. He is an Aquarian Sun (opposite my Sun) with Cancer/Gemini on the Ascendant (opposite my own Sadge/Capricorn Ascendant). His Moon, however, is in Scorpio. I guess the reflective nature of the Scorpio moon has the ability to wade in the deep psychological waters along with me.
In my Orisha ceremony, back in 2005, I was told that I am all "egun"- a word that represents "ancestors". It is another way of describing the subtle energies which surround us. While I don't drink alcohol or take any drugs, I do sometimes smoke marijuana. This is when the subtleties stand out even more. For this reason, I have learned to smoke it in private or around close friends whose energies are not "all over the place".
Whenever I have contact with ppl, I tend to dream about them... depending on what my body-mind sheath decides to do. I cannot control it. Sometimes it happens, I suppose, if it is strong enough to give a meaning. Sometimes, it does not. If there is some sort of message to be revealed, it will just simply be... revealed.
<<True healers, body workers, counselors and psychics usually have planets in the eighth house. The most powerful healers often have Pluto there. Several body workers, Reiki masters, and pranic healers also have this placement. The most important thing to remember is that the eighth house does not lie. It calls out of the woodwork all truths, emotions, feelings and thoughts. Those with eyes to see will see. Just remember to experience this as oneness with others, not separateness. In the end, this will only increase your abilities and understanding of your purpose here on earth. The eighth house is nothing to be afraid of, because it is a blessing in disguise. Individuals with planets here are truly our world’s future healers.>>
I have the Sun in Leo in the 8th House. Not Pluto. The Sun is exalted in Leo as this planetary body "rules" this sign. This means that the energy is strong enough to stave off death. I do feel like I am blessed. I didn't realise it so much before, but as time went on, I got the picture. I escaped the 7.1 earthquake in California when I lived there in 1989 and the WTC tragedy in 2001. The Sun lights up the "darkness" and provides illumination into my subconscious mind... beyond my ego. I have often felt like I'd make a pretty good psycho-analyst as all my thoughts tend to serve as a beacon into understanding my own humanity, which- in turn- could help others as well. I am not afraid of my light. I am just, sometimes, tired of being around the depleting "darkness" of others.
Living in the "hood", I have seen so many ugly scenarios that nothing impresses me anymore. I have seen ppl laying dead in the street, witness myself falling into the drug scene of the 1980's, and ran with criminals like some ghetto Prince Hal (not the immature part, just the hanging with thieves part)... even if I have never, personally, committed any crimes. My close proximity to the various ppl in the "hood" has given me constant access to all this madness. And, even still, I emerged unscathed and continue to walk with Light.
The best way to describe this planetary configuration is: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." The "you" is the "Sun"/"Son" of a King ("Leo"). This is what my life has felt like. I walk through the hate and spread love. A lot ppl may not see it, but maybe it's that they cannot take standing in their own Light. As my itá once said: "it is often those around you who make you feel as if you are no one, when it is themselves that cannot stand up to be some one".
"Phoenix" by Whiteraven90