"Hold My Mule, Pharisee" (2009)
by Truly Caesar
I stood amidst the searing flames
of self-induced predicaments
like, being born into a world
of spiritual abandonment
where towering priests walk free
covering up any hint
so that come Sunday service
they could STILL peep ya imprint
in their triple X confessional
religion becomes concessional
“You must say 8 ‘Our Father’s’
and don’t wait much longer
if you tie up some Rosary beads
your shyt’ll get stronger”
eventually surrendering
to the power of your balls
trying to catch you alone
wandering down black widow halls
looking to be saved
from the fullness of my fruitions
but, dragged into a web
all kinds of strange and lewd propositions
by the guilt of being human
seeking to build some kind of spiritual acumen
I paid more than a quarter
as your lonely-life supporter
I paid with a life full of indecisions
constant sexual collisions
in my head
now, I had divisions
thoughts flying in every direction
as a seminarian goes for the erection
noticing how your slobbing sounds echo
on a Saturday afternoon in church
face looking like a choking gecko
other times more like Father Lurch
sitting in the light of stained glass glare
wondering about who’s gonna sit in this chair
some pious women with bows and hatpins ?
asking "God" to take away all their kids’ sins ??
the way you wipe me from your smock ?!
I can only imagine the shock.
I don’t understand…
or, see your fascination…
the way you lifted my dick
like the Holy Chalice
blew my candle to the wick
as if it were some Holy Phallus
I didn’t understand
your obsession
your
secrecy
taught me about the ways of "God"
without once being on bended knee to thee
I felt like an object…
used when necessary…
then made to wallow
in the thoughts that follow
and follow
shyt wouldn’t stop fucking with me
no matter how many women
became my Queen bee
found myself the magnet of married men
hiding behind a heavy cross of marital sin
some wanting to have threeways
on freeways
approaching me…
giving up the access
to pound all into the mattress
dude had me fuck his wife
though I thought I was there to “landscape”
his only interest really
was to fuel his freak & masturbate
didn’t think it was wrong
chalked it up to the power of the dong
that the Father had beatified
and jackified
to the level of prayer
as I shot across her hair
young mind
lost to Father Slime
who couldn’t live up to his vow
so, he looked down at young boys like chow
freebasing and Manischewitz
made the Holy Spirit go down
jump start my sexuality with a bang
anointing my wang
whilst choruses sang
in his head
like hi-fi Fred
breaking holy bread
but, in my twisted head…
I felt his grimy grip instead
overpower my mind…
with a tantric surge from "God"…
Nicodemus, Pharisee…
“Convert! Convert!
Repent thine evil ways!
Pazuzu is the Destroyer!
Cast the Devil out!
He must not be allowed
to impose ANY of His Doubt !”
all this drama you inflict
‘til it was time to suck my dick
then, everything changes
thoughts are now deranging
under the holy blood spell
the only fire in hell
was contained within 4 wooden walls
and the clean scent of my balls
the fire didn’t scare me…
I was protected by Father Slime…
who oozed away the fears of this anomaly
of maybe being ostracised by my family
as they sang a bunch of “Jesus is the Way“ homilies
from now until… beyond eternity
I could only hear the echoes
of a congregation praying
the organ
playing
whilst Father Slime
fondles mine
150 dollars for my soul…
warper of minds
transgressions of ALL kinds
threaten to poison my roots
create noise
and
annoy
talk to me like I was your boy
except on Saturday…
when you elevated Nicodemus to "God"
forcing me to prod
then, blame me for my confusion
took me years to cut through your illusion
nasty man of "God"
repressed
distressed
make sure you get a GOOD scapegoat
so your flock won’t RISE in protest
and peck your eyes out,
on some Tippi Hedren shyt…
running through the ghetto
Father Slime, the nasty gecko
youthful lives weathered out
make the kids look insane
half a can o’ Guiness Stout
deeply influenced by fishscale-cut cocaine
should have been yourself from the beginning
not hide to the world as such
going around sucking on young dudes
like a stable of prime young ethnic bucks
I do not condemn spirituality
but, I overstand principalities
and prefer to stick to reason
and love
so, screw the Pope
cause I’m using gloves
I am beyond the insecurities
that you have used to fashion me
into some sort of blasphemous obscurity
blaming it all on so-called spiritual impurity
such high standard…
standing beside myself…
a sexual
bisexual
trisexual
try anything once
maybe twice
or thrice
depending, if it was nice
go to parties, get fucked up
li-quor n blow
with multiple partners
ALL in a row
fucking couples with cash
centerpiece of trash
brash
and bold
hardcore fantasies
anything goes
hoes, hoes
and, gigahoes
dick don’t discriminate
just here to inseminate
share some of the power
fuck around in the shower
in the hot tub or sauna
or, on some strange-looking flora
thought for so long
that "God" must have a big dick
the way all these holy men
seem to wanna go at it
convince you to deny what’s happening
even deny their very selves
repress their sexuality
until Saturday afternoon at 12
find an excuse as to how we’re not going to hell
you can’t define me anymore
you need to concentrate on this Babylon Whore
that is your church
twisting minds
and blaming lives
lots of crazy ass fuckery
all for the good of mankind
so
bless me, Father
for I am Freak
it’ll be a cold day in hell
‘til my next confession
I choose to concentrate
on loving my connection Deity
Life is best lived in Truth
not kneeling in supposed Piety
or, begging for Jesus
to make His second debut
whilst Nicodemus rides his donkey
all up inside of you
.oO~Oo.
copyright 2009